People often say experience is the greatest teacher, and that wisdom holds true in both life and leadership. For many, leadership styles are shaped by education and business strategies, leaning on best practices passed down through the chain of command. After spending years in corporate finance, I prided myself on being methodical, clear, and results-driven, drawing inspiration from mentors and strong leaders I admired.
However, becoming a first-time mom – and shortly thereafter navigating life with “two under two” – quickly revealed how personal experiences profoundly impact the way I approach communication and leadership in the business world.
It turns out that guiding toddlers and leading teams share more similarities than we might expect. Whether it’s convincing a two-year-old to put on their shoes or guiding a team through a challenging project, the principles are strikingly similar.
The communication lessons learned through motherhood are profound, but they’re not limited to parents. These five strategies offer practical insights that every business leader can integrate into their leadership style to achieve better results.
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1. Setting Clear Expectations
One of the first lessons learned in motherhood is that ambiguity can lead to chaos. For instance, telling a toddler, “We need to leave soon,” often results in a leisurely and disorganized process. The result? You’re late, they’re upset, and you’re frustrated.
However, setting specific expectations—like stating that “We need to leave by 7:30 AM, so let’s have shoes on and backpacks ready by 7:15 AM”—provides clarity and helps everyone stay on track. (Or, in toddler terms, “We’re walking out the door as soon as this episode of Bluey is over.”)
In leadership, the same principle applies. When communicating with a team, setting clear, actionable expectations is crucial. Instead of saying, “Let’s finish this project quickly,” providing specifics like, “The first draft should be ready by Thursday, with the final version due next Tuesday,” eliminates confusion and ensures everyone is aligned with the same goal. This level of clarity fosters productivity and helps prevent misunderstandings.
2. Active Listening
In the whirlwind of motherhood, I’ve learned that sometimes, my kids don’t need me to fix things—they just need me to listen. When my child is upset because their favorite toy is missing, my instinct is to find a solution.
But I’ve found that taking a moment to say, “I hear that you’re frustrated because you can’t find your toy,” often soothes them more effectively than diving into problem-solving mode. (This becomes even clearer when you have found said favorite toy, yet they keep up with the whimpers.) It’s about acknowledging their feelings and making them feel heard and supported.
In the corporate world, active listening is just as vital. When team members express concerns or ideas, taking the time to truly listen and acknowledge their perspectives can uncover underlying issues and foster stronger relationships.
For example, reflecting on what’s been heard with, “It sounds like there are concerns about the timeline due to recent changes,” helps build a culture of openness and collaboration, where everyone feels valued and understood.
3. Simplifying Complex Information
Explaining complex concepts to a toddler, such as why eating vegetables is important, becomes its own daily parenting puzzle. For instance, getting my child to eat peas and carrots involved more than just putting them on the plate. I found myself saying things like, “Eating veggies will make you extra fast when you play outside, and maybe you’ll even grow as big as daddy.”
Even at the youngest age, there’s an instinct to ask about the “why” behind a task. Anytime we can distill information down to its most essential parts, it becomes more relatable and easier to grasp.
This skill is invaluable in leadership, particularly when conveying complex strategies or reports to a team. Simplifying the message—such as explaining that a new marketing strategy will help reach more customers and increase revenue—ensures that everyone understands the key points and can contribute effectively. Simplification is about making information accessible, which is essential for fostering engagement and alignment within a team.
4. Consistency in Messaging
Children thrive on consistency, and the same can be said for teams. In parenting, if screen time rules change daily, it leads to confusion and pushback. Establishing and maintaining consistent rules—like screen time only after homework and a set bedtime—creates stability and trust.
In leadership, consistency in messaging builds credibility. When a leader consistently reinforces core values and goals, it helps create a unified team that knows exactly what the priorities are. Conversely, if they set priorities but then shift focus without clear reasoning, it can confuse the team and undermine trust.
For example, if the focus is on delivering quality and meeting deadlines, consistently communicating these priorities in meetings, emails, and casual conversations helps keep everyone aligned and working toward the same objectives. Consistency builds a strong, trustworthy leadership presence that teams can rely on.
5. Using Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool in parenting and has proven far more effective than focusing on what’s gone wrong. When my son cleans up his toys without being asked, I make sure to acknowledge it: “Great job! You’re really good at finding a spot for every single toy.” This simple recognition creates a positive atmosphere and motivates him to continue the behavior.
In a leadership context, positive reinforcement works similarly, because employees equally appreciate knowing their work is making an impact. Highlighting their efforts with a simple: “Your presentation was incredibly well-prepared and engaging; it made a big impact on the client” is all it takes sometimes.
Though we often wish it came with a monetary bonus reward, verbal encouragement alone can boost morale and motivate others to strive for excellence. This approach fosters a culture where achievements are celebrated, and everyone feels valued for their contributions. Positive reinforcement is a simple yet effective way to inspire and maintain high performance within a team.
Mom Has The Last Word
Motherhood offers one of the most intense and rewarding crash courses in communication, with lessons that extend far beyond the home. The strategies developed—such as setting clear expectations, actively listening, simplifying complex information, maintaining consistency, and using positive reinforcement—are not only vital in parenting but also transformative in leadership. These lessons are universal, and whether you’re wrangling a toddler or managing a team of professionals, the principles remain the same.
Navigating both motherhood and leadership reveals how interconnected these roles are. The experiences gained in one area inevitably influence the other, enhancing adaptability, empathy, and resilience in both.
These skills, learned through the everyday experiences of motherhood, provide a strong foundation for leading with empathy, clarity, and effectiveness. By embracing these lessons, leaders can foster stronger teams, build trust, and create environments where everyone can thrive.
